Relative Relationship

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Good evening. Thanks for this opportunity to undress a few things. I am filled with humidity and internally grateful. People said I shouldn’t say anything, that I would make a skeptical of myself, but I told them, in no discerning terms, not to worry. See, if I reprehend one thing in this world, it’s my […]

Sneaking Up On Underthings

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It was high time to visit my undergarments silos in Denver, but after what happened last time… No. Better leave that alone for now, except to say I nagged my solicitor, Worthbottom Hoon, into joining me. Hoon agreed, said he needed a break from post-sexualized poetry. His most recent submission to Verse Quarterly— Stump! Stump! […]

Strolling the Boredwalk

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There we were, my lady friend and I, strolling along the boredwalk, though we were probably less board than other pedestrians. I was busy admiring my lady friend’s carriage, and losing myself in her glistening, candied eyes. They are the exact size, shape and color as chocolate-covered almonds. If you’re saying to yourself, “Hey, where […]